Through the Lens of Loss

I'm at that age where there's a pair of reading glasses...well, really, everywhere. There's a pair in each purse. And in the car. And next to my computer. I've gotten to the point where I don't even realize they're on the top of my head when I'm looking for them. I'm notorious for heading out the door for a walk, just to realize I don't have my sunglasses on top of my head, but you guessed it: my readers. But readers do nothing for me once I go outside. I need the darkening lenses of my sunglasses to combat the blinding, Arizona sun. I've got a pair in each purse, a backup pair in the car, and...ok, you get the idea.

Wearing my readers or wearing my sunglasses means I'm able to view the world differently. It might mean things are clearer; it might mean things are darker. But there is never a time while I'm wearing a pair of glasses that I'm not aware I'm wearing a pair of glasses. I can see the frames. I can feel the pressure of the nose pads as they hold the glasses up. Occasionally my eyesight focuses on a smudge or speck of dirt. But I always know they are there.

Sometimes that's the best way to describe what grief feels like. Perhaps not the immediate pain and shock of grief. But the long-term grief. The grief you've learned will never go away no matter how much time passes. The glasses you wear now might seem lighter than they did in those first few days and weeks. Perhaps colors are brighter and people around you come into view more clearly. You can focus on other things for longer periods of time. But there will never be a moment you are not aware you are wearing those glasses. Grief will always be there.

That might seem like a depressing thought, but as it turns out, I've discovered it isn't all bad. In some ways, those shades have given me a new perspective on life and living. They've made me realize life is short and precious. They've made me appreciate the close relationships of friends and family. Bible verses have deeper meaning. The lyrics to worship songs touch my heart in a way they wouldn't have before I wore my grief glasses.

That happened to be the case this morning in worship. As we sang the final chorus of one of songs, my heart became overwhelmed, and my eyes welled up with tears. No longer able to sing, I let these words soak into my heart:

"What joy to wear the burden of that tree, and find my suffering in it redeemed.

When I lose, only clearer Christ I see. Still I will glory in the cross."

You might think the tears were for my many losses. But they were not.

They were for the absolute truth that through my losses, I have been witness to the extraordinary love of Christ. I have become acquainted with a Savior who loves me more than anything. I have seen grace upon grace given to me, though I didn't deserve it. I have watched over the years how the King of Glory has redeemed my suffering. And despite wearing permanent shades of grief, I know my God more intimately than I did before I put those glasses on.

In a moment of reader-glasses clarity, God reminded me that even my most difficult losses will never compare to what His Son gained for me on that cross 2,000 years ago. And friend, your most difficult losses will never compare to what Jesus gained for you on that cross 2,000 years ago either.

Our losses here on this earth are temporary. But what Christ gained on the cross is forever.

A future with Him. Life eternal. A heavenly reunion with no end....and no glasses.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth

of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

Philippians 3:8